Your Personal Bill of Rights in Relationships

Happy Independence Day New Thought, Right Action readers! Below is a post of a New Thought, Right Action leaders (two in particular) who worked and continue to work in the field of mental health. Their efforts in writing and teaching in the area of recovery from addiction and growing up in dysfunctional families helped define what healthy boundaries in relationships looks like. I hope you are enjoying your independence from what ever patterns that have been binding you from living your life to its full, healthy capacity.

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Native Houstonian John Bradshaw was a prolific writer and he, along with Atlanta-based Dr. Charles Whitfield, made popular the concept of “healing your inner child. ”  In the early 90s,  Mr. Bradshaw shared in a public way his vulnerabilities and own recovery journey from alcoholism. He built a platform of lectures, PBS presentations,

and books to help millions of people around the world. If it weren’t ‘t for his and Dr. Whitfield’s service in writing, many people would never have been introduced to the concept of toxic shame. Mr. Bradshaw’s theory, in particular, is that toxic shame is what drives so many people’s decisions to self medicate through alcohol, drugs, food, sex, shopping, and overworking to mask the intolerable feeling of unworthiness.

IMG_0960(1)Mr. Bradshaw died two years ago. Friday, would have been his 85th birthday. His family held an estate sale at their property last weekend and I chose to attend so I could see where he wrote his many, many influential books. While we were there, admiring the many artifacts Mr. Bradshaw had collected on his international trips, we had the serendipity to meet Mrs. Bradshaw. The reason she and her husband had so many collectibles is not because of materialism but because of Mr. Bradshaw’s spirit of service. Everywhere they went, she said, “John wanted to buy something from the shopkeepers to help them out.”

Helping people out is what healers do. Dr. Whitfield is referenced for his compilation of a Personal Bill of Rights as it relates to interacting in healthy relationships. Here’s his list of “rights” that we are all entitled to enjoy if that’s what we choose. What rights are you exercising today?

independence day

Addiction abruptly ends lives, but there’s always a New Thought, Right Action to choose

road not takenI attended the funeral of a 20-year-old man last week. He died from complications associated with addiction. It was several years of struggle for his family as they helped him navigate resources to manage this chronic, relapsing brain disorder.

The funeral home was packed with nearly 200 friends–many of them the same age and most of them struggling with the same chronic, relapsing brain disorder. The friends who were currently sober talked about their anger at this illness and how it abruptly changed their life. In the early days of abusing substances, an altered mental state is a positively enhanced experience over the highs and lows of common everyday life. But, then, the highs or the check out from reality changes abruptly and something which an individual has had control over is suddenly controlling them.

If complete abstinence isn’t achieved from mind-altering substances, then people with this illness can have many years of long, drawn-out mental and physical suffering from the illness. Once a person has passed the stage of recreational substance use to addiction, there is no alternative street substance to use.  And, unfortunately, as long as the years are for the relapsing stage it almost always ends abruptly.

I’m sure the grieving phase for the man’s family will last the rest of their natural lives. It may lessen in intensity but the abrupt loss has left its mark which cannot be undone.

If you or someone you know is ready for an abrupt change to save yours or someone else’s life, then please connect with us. We have resources available to help you live a life of New Thought, Right Action.

Love and light,
Brenda

 

via Daily Prompt: Abrupt