Parallel career choices may be the best move

Affiliate disclosure: I have linked to other websites which sell products. I currently do not have any affiliate relationships with websites to which I link. What that means is if you go to a website that I’ve linked to and you buy something from them, they will get all of your money and I won’t get a commission. I linked to them because I bought something from them and I liked it and it improved my life. Disclosures will be updated as required.

If you’re in a position to make a choice in your career, logic tells us the best move is a vertical, rather than a parallel one. Even in parking your vehicle, given the choice between parallel parking and head-in, which is a better, less time-consuming maneuver?

Carparking-memeBut like in developing our driving skills, a parallel move or a lattice supported approach in career development, may be the best decision in moving out of a comfort zone. Vertical or head-on parking is the easiest maneuver, but parallel parking will hone your driving skills, for certain, especially on a busy city street with other drivers queued waiting for you to get your car parked.

The high-achiever brain thrives on challenge. Boredom is the Achilles’s heel of many people and can lead them to compensate for it with a set of unhealthy distractions. It’s better financially for you if you can stimulate your brain with on-the-job training and have someone else pay for it.

Now, sometimes a toxic work environment may make it seem any move to escape is best. With a little patience, supportive coaching, and determination, though, I know you can wait just a tad longer to make a move that best serves you. Even within the same company, one work group may have a different culture than another. Making a lateral move within your current workplace will develop a perception from others of work stability, rather than a job hopping resume.

No matter whether “it’s just a jump to the left or a step to the right” the parallel move may be the best for you in stretching you out of your comfort zone.

© 2018 Brenda Henning

 

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Frank the Crank

Photo by Odssey
Photo by Odssey

Frank was a crank
He sat in a cubicle
And picked at his cuticles
While hearing the expletives
Of all of the defeatists.

Frank was a crank
because he didn’t know
if he would rise high or low
in his pursuit of success and money
while he drank tea with milk and honey.

Frank was a crank
and he took heavy breaths
while he jumped to the depths
of  selling and burning out his soul
only to fill up his boss’s cup and  bowl.

Frank was a crank
but he stood up one day
and looked through the fray
and decided he had had enough
so he packed up his cubicle and took all his stuff.

Frank was no longer a crank
because he reset his mind
and came up from behind
as he built a life with his own determined goals
and filled to the brim his own cup and bowls.

© 2018 Brenda Henning

The Power of Your No

Affiliate disclosure: I have linked to other websites which sell products. I currently do not have any affiliate relationships with websites to which I link on this post. What that means is if you go to a website that I’ve linked to and you buy something from them, they will get all of your money and I won’t earn a commission. I linked to them because I bought something from them and I liked it and it improved my life.  Disclosures will be updated as required.

Your mom tells you “no” for a reason when you’re a kid. She’s looking out for your welfare and she knows what you’re like to live with when you’re over-tired. But now that you’re a grownup, it’s your job to figure out what to say yes to and what to decline.

As you’re building a professional reputation, telling your requestors a plain “no” or “because I said so,” in “Momese” could be viewed as impolite. It takes courage to say no if you have a “people pleasing” tendency, yet setting a limit on others dependent demands may be the kindest thing you do for someone all year-long.

A way to confirm whether you’re taking on something that’s not yours to take on is ask yourself a simple question: “Am I doing something for someone else that they’re perfectly capable of doing themselves.”

If the answer is “yes,” then your answer to them might need to be “no.”

In the personal arena, people have difficulties saying no to themselves, much less to other people. Look around, credit card debt is negatively affecting a generation’s ability to retire without taking on a job and obesity is a public health issue. If you feel conflicted about saying no to others, perhaps it’s best to start with yourself.

Limiting your own over-indulgences may be the best “no” you give yourself and could potentially improve, if not save, your life by preventing a host of health issues, especially stress.

As James Altucher writes in his book “The Power of No” learning the well placed “no” can free you to say a “truly powerful “Yes” in your life—one that opens the door to opportunities, abundance, and love.”

Here’s a list of 20 ways to say “no.”

© 2018 Brenda Henning

just say no

The more you say, the less they listen

Affiliate disclosure: I have linked to other websites which sell products. I currently do not have any affiliate relationships with websites to which I link on this post. What that means is if you go to a website that I’ve linked to and you buy something from them, they will get all of your money and I won’t get a commission. I linked to them because I bought something from them and I liked it and it improved my life. Disclosures will be updated as required.

I mentioned only a couple of things (within a 10 minute conversation) to be of help to my young adult son. Did he welcome my advice? NOT AT ALL. Instead, he told me “the more you tell me to do something, the less I want to do it.”

Okay, then. So, my son isn’t open to positive suggestions. How is he going to figure out life? He is so young and there’s so much that he doesn’t know.

Perhaps, you’ve run into this dilemma, too, if you’re the parent, teacher or other adult-figure in a teenager/young adult life.

What is it about young people that you tell them “go west, young man,” and they go south?

Developmentally, rebellion is a rite of passage for teenagers. You will notice it in two categories: social non-conformity rebellion (hence, pierced lips, purple hair, etc.) and parental non-compliance rebellion (you tell them be in at 10 p.m. and they come in at 10:30.)

It’s a tricky balancing act to know when it’s time to allow a child to assume more responsibility for themselves. But, as soon as human beings are potty-trained is the time to allow natural consequences to occur, within a developmentally appropriate way.

The sooner a person has to clean up his/her own messes, the sooner s/ he is motivated to learn from them and find effective ways to manage his or her life.

So, fast forward to the teenage years. With peer pressure, temptation, and executive function not fully developed what’s an adult to do? The greater part of a relationship with a teenager is listening and to ask questions which are open-ended, affirming, reflective and provide a summation (OARS). Dr. John Coleman covers this in a modified way in his book “Why Won’t my Teenager Talk to Me?”

Some examples of how to approach not only your teenager/young adult but essentially anyone, include:

  • “What do you need from me” instead of “this is what you should/need to do.”
  • “Help me understand,” instead of  “you’re not listening to me.”
  • “I see you worked as hard as you could,” instead of “why didn’t you study more/work harder?”

Barring any significant health issues or outright dangerous rebellion, most teens are highly sensitized to the pressure of succeeding. As one teen told me: “I’m well aware of the importance of the SAT exams and when my parents nag me about it, it just causes me to feel more stress.”

Teenagers have a heavy work/school load and each of them has a unique approach to arranging the order of  tasks.  When parents give unsolicited advice, it can cause the stack to topple because teenagers are easily influenced by perceived judgement from important role models. So, instead of telling them how they should carry their load, ask them what you can do to help them carry it. And, if they tell you, “nothing,” then allow them autonomy. If the load topples, let it fall. You serve as the calm bystander ready to assist if asked.

Overcoming adversity builds confidence and resilience. Some of the best change makers, leaders, and inventors in history learned from daunting circumstances and mistakes.

As Thomas Edison said: “I haven’t failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that didn’t work.”

edison

© 2018 Brenda Henning

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Journey Begins

When you know, you know.  And if you’re stuck, you are quite aware of it.

Some of the places people find themselves stuck in include:

  •  unfulfilling work,
  • failing to reach their full health potential despite efforts, or
  • frustration with not experiencing meaningful connection in relationships.

So, stop spinning your wheels and do something different. New Thought, Right Action is your bridge from what was to what will be, starting now.

You will hear, read, and experience insights from some of the world’s top new thought leaders. Also, evidence-based mind-body skills will be shared with you to shake things up for you and get you started on a new phase of your journey.

As one premier new thought leader Albert Einstein stated: “We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them.”

Look forward to a New Thought, Right Action kind of life, starting today.

Good company in a journey makes the way seem shorter. — Izaak Walton

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